A Year Later

Today, I took a look back at some of my posts when I began blogging last year. Boy! I had a lot of time on my hands! I blogged a lot! Much of what I wrote seems like it happened so many years ago, which makes me realize how much change we have been through in such a short amount of time. It's been almost a year since I took the flight I was dreading terribly, and I am already anticipating another flight in a few months for our anniversary. I don't even feel nervous! It was interesting to read over the blogs about my struggles with anxiety and panic disorder. It's obvious I was going through some rough days there for a while! I was also doing a lot of soul searching when I began writing. I'm not much different now, to be honest. I'm still doing some soul searching, and I still have anxiety, but something in my life is different.

Our lives are no less chaotic than they were a year ago; in fact, here recently, I believe we've gone through a lot. We have been living in Birmingham, AL, since June after making a decision to move here so Michael could begin his career in athletics and I could begin my dream job in PR. We were both so excited to move here for better jobs and to be around many of our friends who have known Michael since high school and who were a part of our wedding. Soon after we moved here, the honeymoon was sort of over, and I realized my job was more of a nightmare. I was so disappointed in myself! I went to work everyday miserable, but I felt so guilty because I was mostly to blame for moving us here.

In the meantime, we started attending church regularly for the first time in our marriage. Many of our friends attend this church, and I immediately loved it. The music takes some getting used to if you aren't into contemporary worship, but the messages have always been great. The more we went to church, the more I felt my relationship with God strengthening. With church came a small group bible study, a daily quiet time, a stronger marriage, and a better relationship with God. My relationship with God grew as the difficulties at work grew, and I could not imagine how life would have been if it were simply me trying to deal with everything without a little help from the man upstairs!

For a few months, life was hard, and I questioned why we were here. But as time unraveled, I quickly realized that we weren't in Birmingham for jobs, we were here because it's where God wanted us to be, I believe for several reasons. He wanted us here to be with friends, to take care of a house that was going to need some TLC, to learn to budget, to strengthen our marriage, to seek our purpose in both our personal lives and in our careers, and most importantly to find a place where we would grow closer to Him.

Early November, my friend Jamie called me out of the blue to tell me her company was hiring, and she thought I would be great for the job since it required a person who likes to talk to people. Her company is a sales tax auditing firm full of accountants and numbers people. I sort of blew her off to be honest, I've been around some accountants, and they can be really crazy and really scary!!!! I'm a word person for heaven's sake! But I was desperate, and I thought "what the heck!" I sent her my resume but never heard a thing. My mom came to visit me over Thanksgiving, and she saw how stressed I was about my job. The whole week she was here, I was more worried about a stupid brunch I had planned for early December, and I couldn't even enjoy myself. Yes, I was miserable, and I was making my mom miserable too! By the time she left, I knew I had to find a new job. I planned to call a temp agency first thing the next week. I did a lot of praying that weekend, but after talking it over with Michael, we decided to my dismay that I should stick it out for a few more months. I had accepted my fate and went unhappily to work the next day. Two days later, I received a text from Jamie saying that the person originally hired for the job I applied for didn't work out and I was asked to come interview. That week, I experienced the shortest interview of my life and was hired the same day. Before I could catch my breath, I had made the decision to give up the job I had worked so hard to get to, the job that was going to take me places, and accepted a job as an audit coordinator scheduling sales tax audits! In a million years, I never would have guessed a girl like me who is still terrified of numbers would be working at an auditing firm and loving every minute of it! It is the best job I have ever had, and it is the only place I have worked where everyone gets along and truly cares about each other. It's right where God wanted me to be!

So a year later, when I look back at some of my posts about soul searching and anxiety, I still feel like I am the same person who struggles with finding who I am while dealing with anxious days...but there is one fundamental difference. I have a deeper sense of gratitude, a stronger faith in God, and a better sense of self that makes life a little less fearful when dealing with the change and chaos that comes our way.

If you were to ask me where I have loved living the most since Michael and I got married, I would have to say Birmingham, Alabama because it's the place I began the journey towards a strengthened relationship with God! For now, this is exactly where He wants us to be!

Murphy's Law

Murphy's Law - "If it can go wrong it will!" This is how Michael and I felt right around 7:00 pm on Saturday night up until I finally went to bed last night and decided "I'll get through whatever else goes wrong!" On Friday and Saturday, Michael and I attended the Ignite Marriage Conference at our church. Only speaking for myself, I learned so much, and I am so grateful that Michael and I are committed to making our relationship stronger. I was on a high Saturday afternoon leaving the conference, and I thought to myself, "the rest of this weekend is going to be great, and I can't wait to get home and talk about all we've learned!" Just a side note - Michael had to work Saturday afternoon, and I stayed for the last session by myself, and I couldn't wait for him to get home Saturday evening so he could tell me how much he loved the conference and how it made him realize I was the best wife ever! Okay, so maybe I was a little too optimistic! :) At 5:30 pm on Saturday, Michael called and said he was able to leave work early and he was heading home soon. Him leaving early never happens, and I was so excited. He asked what I wanted for dinner, and we ended the conversation by deciding on pizza. About 6:00 pm, he called and said he was heading home with two barbecue sandwiches and some chips he got for free at work. And the steam started billowing from my ears, but I made myself calm. The lessons of the conference started repeating themselves over and over in my head! I was so looking forward to that pizza! I don't like barbecue on a good day, and free, dried up bbq sandwiches from his work sounded awful! But...I had learned to be a patient and loving wife, so I agreed to the free sandwiches. Besides we have recently committed ourselves to Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover, and Dave would be proud of me for saving money! At 6:30 pm, Michael called again. He said, "Brandi, your wish has come true and it looks like you won't be eating barbecue afterall. I was driving down the highway, and I put my foot on the gas, but my car wouldn't go. I'm stranded on the side of the highway!" WHAT!!! But I had it all planned out...dinner and talking! Now he's on the side of the road waiting on his friend Eric to come help him out and who knows how long it's going to take! Did I mention, this is one day before we were planning to do our first budget since we have been married! Dave Ramsey warned us over and over in his book about "Murphy's Law"...if something can go wrong it will! The night before our planned Sunday budget meeting, Michael's car breaks down one day after getting serviced, and we know it's probably going to cost us! But wait...it gets better! Eric and Michael got the car pushed to a parking lot on Saturday night. Michael got home around 8 pm with his cold, soggy barbecue sandwiches. He didn't make me eat them, and we took my car to Taco Bell. It was kinda gross, but I was starving. Sunday morning, we got up and headed to his car to wait for a tow truck. His car miraculously started, so we decided to see if we could get it to the shop ourselves. He drove about 500 feet and once he got on the main highway again, it quit! So there we were on the side of the highway, with him pushing his little car and me at the steering wheel hopelessly making it to the next parking lot! On Sunday afternoons, you are at the mercy of any tower who you can find working. We called three times and we kept getting put off. So we killed some time with lunch and a trip to the bookstore. While we were at the bookstore after hours of waiting, our real estate agent calls and says an agent wants to show our house in two hours. Sure no problem....if we weren't on the other side of town waiting on Michael's car to get towed and the house didn't need to be picked up, dusted, vacuumed, mopped, sanitized, and de-furred, which on a good day takes us about 2 hours. We couldn't turn down a showing, so Michael took me home and I began cleaning. Everything was going well because I was determined to hurry up and try to enjoy my afternoon, and on our way back to the house, the man called us back and said he would tow Michael in the next 30 minutes, so our luck was turning around! I was upstairs, in the middle of vacuuming (I hadn't made it to the other two floors yet) when all of the sudden our brand new vacuum just stopped! I thought it came unplugged, but it looked to be securely plugged in to me. I unplugged it just in case and plugged it back it, but nothing! This was my worst nightmare! Two more floors to go, and have you seen the dog hair my little 18 pound baby sheds! I didn't know what to do! Michael got home shortly, and made it work again, well...for 15 more minutes! It quit again! Needless to say, the other two floors didn't get vacuumed, and I resorted to lent rolling both of our dark brown couches to hide some of Scarlett's hair! It was the best we could do! So after all of these disasters, we had a nice afternoon at the park while our house was being shown, and we came home to tackle our budget. I don't care what anyone says, budgeting is stressful because it requires a lot of discipline, which is a virtue I need to work on daily! But we got some things accomplished, and I had a good night's sleep! I want to thank Church of the Highlands for giving me the opportunity to attend a marriage conference before these disasters occurred because it gave me a little patience with my wonderful husband :). I also want to thank Dave Ramsey for warning me about Murphy's Law...this man is absolutely right! If it could go wrong it did, but we made it through!

Ya Ya

This weekend, we had some visitors! My mom, along with her two sisters Donna and Paula and her good friend Barbara came to Birmingham to see me. It could not have been a nicer weekend, and we had so much fun. I don't think that any other foursome could laugh as much as these women do and be so crazy - so Michael and I fittingly call them the Ya Ya's! I can't tell you all the juicy details of this weekend without causing embarrassment to the Ya Ya sisterhood, but a stopped up toilet, a curious security guard, and a stack of napkins will remind all of us how much we laughed this weekend. I am so glad they came with my mom because she seemed really happy! I miss getting to see her and my family all the time, but at least I know she is enjoying life and is being kept in good company.

Here is a pic of the Ya Ya's at the Vulcan statue in Homewood - this is where it all went downhill for my mom (second from the right) who could not stop laughing!

Three sisters, my mom Johna on the right with Donna and Paula

In between laughs, we calmed down to take a picture together.

My! What a long neck you have mom!

My mom laughing hysterically in the Vulcan Musuem...this was right before the security guard walked over to see what in the heck she was doing! We ate a lot of course! On Saturday, we went to the Fish Market downtown. After a day of shopping on Sunday, we ate at Chuy's Mexican Restaurant. After dinner, my aunt Paula made Chocolate Lava Cakes with Nutella in the middle. It was delicious...but my diet started on Monday!

I'm sad the Ya Ya's are gone! But I had a great time with them, and can't wait to see what our next adventure has in store for us!