A McBaby Story

Well…it’s been years months since I’ve written.  But hey, I have a great excuse!  Michael and I made a baby, and I’ve been carrying it in my belly for the past 12 weeks!  We just told the world on Saturday, so now I can finally blog about it.  I’m going to try to cram everything into this one post, so bear with me.  I apologize if any of my details provide too much information, but I would like to remember everything.

Unlike most pregnant gals, I know the exact date we conceived McBaby.  How is that?  Because in our 7 years of marriage, Michael and I have been meticulous about birth control…except for one time.  On April 18, 2013, we threw caution to the wind, I was certain I had already ovulated, and we thought, “who gets pregnant after just once.”  Trust me, I am eating my words now!  We became part of the “It only takes once” statistic that day, and I would be lying if I told you I didn’t feel stupid at all!

Fast forward just a couple of weeks to Friday, May 4^th.  I had been having common period symptoms for four days, but there was no sign of a period.  Earlier that week, Michael was making dinner, and I remember telling him how awful it smelled to me.  He jokingly teased me that I already had a pregnant nose.  I thought nothing of it, but now it makes sense.  So that Friday, I went to the grocery store to get a few things, and picked up a pregnancy test along with my groceries.  I wanted piece of mind so I could move on because I knew I was not pregnant.  I got home, put up my groceries, and then I took the test.  It quickly showed the negative line, and my anxiety eased.  But as I continued to sit there, the plus sign started filling in, and my heart began to race as the room got fuzzy.  My heart was literally beating out of my chest.  I was not happy, I was not sad, I was shocked.  I think this was the closest to an out of body experience I have ever felt. 

So many women dream of the day they find out they are pregnant and plan elaborate or creative announcements to share the news with their husbands.  There was no time for that.  I picked up the phone, called Michael and said “Guess What?”  He instantly knew, and you could hear a pin drop on the phone line as we both sat there for a second.  I hung up the phone with Michael, and I called my mom.  I don’t really think she knew how to react when I told her.  Her self-proclaimed childfree daughter was calling to say she was pregnant.  She was going to be a grandmother, and I don’t think she knew how to feel.  She barely said anything, but she called me back later and was very excited.

I was four weeks along when I took the test, and it would be four more weeks before we went to the doctor.  These were the worst weeks for me.  I was so anxious, confused, shocked, and sick.  The worst part was that I couldn’t talk to anyone about what I was going through because we decided to keep the news to ourselves until we went to the doctor.   The week we went to the beach for our anniversary was the week I felt the worst.  I was six weeks along, and I physically, mentally, and emotionally was a wreck!  Poor Michael handled it so well though.  The hardest part for me was the fear of being sick, not the actual sickness itself.  I don’t know if that makes sense, but my anxiety tends to make me think catastrophic thoughts, and on my worst days I imagined myself throwing up at work or at a restaurant and being really embarrassed.  I’m glad that part is over, and I am happy to say I survived!!!

I was so nervous before our 8-week appointment, but I love my doctor and her staff.  We felt at ease talking to her, and she calmed all my nerves.  We were so excited during the first ultrasound.  Michael didn’t realize what the flickering was on the screen, and when I told him it was the heartbeat, I think he may have cried!  We went back to the doctor at 13 weeks and had a second ultrasound.  I could not believe how much the baby had grown from a little bean to a fetus with a clearly defined head and arms that were flailing around.  The heartbeat looked strong still.

Every day, this adventure is more real, and I am trying to find my place as a girl who is expecting and will be a mom in less than 6 months.  I never thought this would be me, and I have to pinch myself from time to time.  It was great to finally announce that we were expecting over the weekend because it seems more real now. 

In case you are wondering why we are calling our little one McBaby (I am sure you are smart enough to figure out that McBaby plays off of McGreevey), I want to share that we have decided not to find out the gender before McBaby is born.  I reluctantly agreed to this because Michael has said that he would always want to be surprised if we became parents.  He thinks there will be nothing sweeter than being surprised at McBaby’s birth.  He felt so strongly about this, and I know it makes him happy, so we will refer to our little one as McBaby until he or she enters the world.  Now, I am navigating the gender-neutral world trying to decide how to decorate the nursery.  I have a few ideas that I am excited about.

Today, I am 14 weeks along.  I am feeling good for the most part.  I’m still exhausted, but I wonder if that has to do with the fact that we just moved then traveled to Arkansas for 5 days right after.  I haven’t had a chance to catch up, and it’s driving me crazy to have an unorganized house.  As far as food goes, I don’t really crave anything specifically, but there have been foods I don’t want to eat.  It’s hard for me to eat meat, and I want salty food much more than I want sweet stuff.

Now that I am able to openly talk about McBaby, I plan to blog a lot more.  I really want to capture as much as I can on this journey.