This week was tough for me. My feelings were hurt by some things that were said about me, and I was also feeling guilty about things that I said in retaliation to being hurt. I woke up this morning with a heaviness in my spirit, and I just felt bad. But in the midst of feeling sorry for myself, I had a revelation from God, and it's BIG!
We all believe we are right. If we didn't believe we were right, we wouldn't have an opinion. I'm almost certain that all of us have an opinion about everything! If we didn't believe we were right, we wouldn't be leading an authentic life, the life that is right for us. Living a life that is right for us makes us happy. It develops us as leaders, trendsetters, and decision makers.
But what gets me, is how judgemental we've all become about what is right and wrong. I am guilty of this very thing that angers me. I find myself so upset when people force what is right for their life into an opinion or judgement about how I am living. But I am right there with them, voicing what I think is right for them without walking a day in their shoes. This cycle is so difficult to break. With Facebook, Twitter, and blogs allowing us to say whatever we please in reaction to others, we think our opinion matters. Guess what...It Doesn't!!!!
If I would focus half of the attention I spend on judging others or offering my "sound" advice on my relationship with God and allow him to develop my character so I can love and be an example instead of just talking all the time, I would have a much more fulfilling life.
So why don't I do this? It's not easy. Gossip, the act of judging out loud, is an addictive habit. No matter how bad I feel after I have opened my big mouth, I repeat the cycle over and over. This is a daily struggle for me; an important life test I fail 98% of the time. I hate it! We gossip to feel included and to feel validated although most of us don't feel good after we've participated. We quickly realize that sharing our opinion just wasn't that important, especially after we have hurt someone. I am going to be honest and tell you that I have strong opinions about what people eat or drink and how much they eat or drink, what they wear or don't wear, and what they do with their free time. I have an opinion about how people should handle their finances, whether or not they should have children and how they should parent (how ironic because I don't have kids), how they do their jobs, how they speak, what they listen to and watch, how they treat their significant others, and how they treat me. I promise this list could be longer, and I have just proven that I need to get a life!!!
Though I have an opinion about everything, I get very angry when people share their opinion about the way Michael and I live our life. From time to time, people boldly share their opinion about how we spoil Scarlett too much, how we throw money away because we choose to rent instead of buy, how we spend too much money on groceries because we shop at Whole Foods, how we are weird because we don't buy gifts for each other, and how we are selfish because we have chosen to remain childfree. I get angry because I should not have to defend the way we live, and I already struggle with feeling isolated because we live differently than most married couples. BUT we have to do what is right for us. I want people to understand that we love Scarlett and she is ours to spoil, we enjoy the freedom that renting allows us if a better opportunity comes our way, eating organically has become a way of living and no price can be put on our health, buying gifts is not as important to us as traveling together, and neither of us feel we have been called by God to have children at this point in our lives.
But the greater lesson is that others should not have to defend the way they live, which is exaclty what happens when I choose to judge them and gossip about them for the decisions they make. They have to do what is right for them. I have no right to an opinion or judgement about how anyone lives, and I am prideful in thinking that I am as important as God--the only righteous judge. I am wrong to form a judgemental thought, and I cause pain every time I open my mouth and allow the thought to be voiced.
Thinking about the events of this past week, God has shown me that instead of getting upset every time someone shares their opinion about me, I need to stop and think if I have done that very thing recently. How hypocritical of me to ask someone else to let me live when I am not giving them the freedom to live themselves.
"Do not Judge, or you too will be Judged." Matthew 7:1
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An interesting post...we often feel the same way. My irritation level always rises when people tell me about our life choices.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the past week or so, I have found myself making judgments against "tanning mom" Krentcial that has been on the news for burning her daughter's skin. While I have never sat in a tanning bed, I have been a victim of skin cancer several times...so the story hits home. So is it right for me to judge this woman? Just as other judge me? Where is the line drawn...
Interesting topic.
Your blog makes me think that I am not the only one :)
ReplyDeleteWell, I am pretty judgmental too about other people's life, but I don't say it out loud unless they judged me first or hurt me in anyway. It doesn't justify my actions though, I am trying not to be that kind of person and I keep failing because I am not depending on God to help me. Honestly, my judgement went too far not only about people, but also about myself and thus I can't have a relationship with God anymore!
PS: My husband and I have almost the same life style like you guys. We shop at whole foods, we don't have kids and we rent hehe..