Well…it’s been years months since I’ve written. But hey, I have a great excuse! Michael and I made a baby, and I’ve been
carrying it in my belly for the past 12 weeks!
We just told the world on Saturday, so now I can finally blog about it. I’m going to try to cram everything into this
one post, so bear with me. I apologize
if any of my details provide too much information, but I would like to remember
everything.
Unlike most pregnant gals, I know the exact date we
conceived McBaby. How is that? Because in our 7 years of marriage, Michael
and I have been meticulous about birth control…except for one time. On April 18, 2013, we threw caution to the
wind, I was certain I had already ovulated, and we thought, “who gets pregnant
after just once.” Trust me, I am eating
my words now! We became part of the “It
only takes once” statistic that day, and I would be lying if I told you I
didn’t feel stupid at all!
Fast forward just a couple of weeks to Friday, May 4th. I had been having common period symptoms for
four days, but there was no sign of a period.
Earlier that week, Michael was making dinner, and I remember telling him
how awful it smelled to me. He jokingly
teased me that I already had a pregnant nose.
I thought nothing of it, but now it makes sense. So that Friday, I went to the grocery store
to get a few things, and picked up a pregnancy test along with my
groceries. I wanted piece of mind so I
could move on because I knew I was not pregnant. I got home, put up my groceries, and then I
took the test. It quickly showed the
negative line, and my anxiety eased. But
as I continued to sit there, the plus sign started filling in, and my heart
began to race as the room got fuzzy. My
heart was literally beating out of my chest.
I was not happy, I was not sad, I was shocked. I think this was the closest to an out of
body experience I have ever felt.
So many women dream of the day they find out they are
pregnant and plan elaborate or creative announcements to share the news with their
husbands. There was no time for
that. I picked up the phone, called
Michael and said “Guess What?” He
instantly knew, and you could hear a pin drop on the phone line as we both sat
there for a second. I hung up the phone
with Michael, and I called my mom. I
don’t really think she knew how to react when I told her. Her self-proclaimed childfree daughter was
calling to say she was pregnant. She was
going to be a grandmother, and I don’t think she knew how to feel. She barely said anything, but she called me
back later and was very excited.
I was four weeks along when I took the test, and it would be
four more weeks before we went to the doctor.
These were the worst weeks for me.
I was so anxious, confused, shocked, and sick. The worst part was that I couldn’t talk to
anyone about what I was going through because we decided to keep the news to
ourselves until we went to the doctor.
The week we went to the beach for our anniversary was the week I felt the
worst. I was six weeks along, and I physically,
mentally, and emotionally was a wreck!
Poor Michael handled it so well though.
The hardest part for me was the fear of being sick, not the actual
sickness itself. I don’t know if that
makes sense, but my anxiety tends to make me think catastrophic thoughts, and
on my worst days I imagined myself throwing up at work or at a restaurant and
being really embarrassed. I’m glad that
part is over, and I am happy to say I survived!!!
I was so nervous before our 8-week appointment, but I love
my doctor and her staff. We felt at ease
talking to her, and she calmed all my nerves.
We were so excited during the first ultrasound. Michael didn’t realize what the flickering
was on the screen, and when I told him it was the heartbeat, I think he may
have cried! We went back to the doctor
at 13 weeks and had a second ultrasound.
I could not believe how much the baby had grown from a little bean to a
fetus with a clearly defined head and arms that were flailing around. The heartbeat looked strong still.
Every day, this adventure is more real, and I am trying to
find my place as a girl who is expecting and will be a mom in less than 6
months. I never thought this would be
me, and I have to pinch myself from time to time. It was great to finally announce that we were
expecting over the weekend because it seems more real now.
In case you are wondering why we are calling our little one
McBaby (I am sure you are smart enough to figure out that McBaby plays off of
McGreevey), I want to share that we have decided not to find out the gender
before McBaby is born. I reluctantly
agreed to this because Michael has said that he would always want to be
surprised if we became parents. He
thinks there will be nothing sweeter than being surprised at McBaby’s
birth. He felt so strongly about this,
and I know it makes him happy, so we will refer to our little one as McBaby
until he or she enters the world. Now, I
am navigating the gender-neutral world trying to decide how to decorate the
nursery. I have a few ideas that I am
excited about.
Today, I am 14 weeks along.
I am feeling good for the most part.
I’m still exhausted, but I wonder if that has to do with the fact that
we just moved then traveled to Arkansas for 5 days right after. I haven’t had a chance to catch up, and it’s
driving me crazy to have an unorganized house.
As far as food goes, I don’t really crave anything specifically, but
there have been foods I don’t want to eat.
It’s hard for me to eat meat, and I want salty food much more than I
want sweet stuff.
Now that I am able to openly talk about McBaby, I plan to
blog a lot more. I really want to
capture as much as I can on this journey.
