Six Weeks In

We are six weeks in to this new life we have created with Noah.  Boy is it a journey!  What a blessing our little boy Noah is to us, and we love him so much.  I would do it all over again, even with the lack of sleep and the complete change from our former lives!

With that said, I could do without getting peed on, and it would be awesome not to change pajamas 3 times a day because I am drenched in sweat and spit up or I smell like sour milk...oh yeah or he peed on me again.  He has several costume changes a day as well.  I would love to eat a meal without jamming food down my throat or without feeding him at the same time.  I'm amazed at how I've learned to nurse and cook and eat at the same time.  When we are both starving, I have to do something!  The laundry gets out of control with all of the spit up, pee and poop...seriously out of control.  I wish I could remember what time it is, what day of the week it is, what date it is, what I did yesterday, what I did this morning, who I talked to this morning, and what we talked about!  I seriously can't remember a thing!  Going anywhere is an ordeal, so it's just easier to stay at home at this point.  And whoever said sleep when the baby sleeps is insane.  I need that time to hose myself off, feed myself, get a load of laundry done or catch up on Facebook to see what the rest of the world is doing.

Maybe your aren't supposed to say it, but being a mom to a six week old can be mind numbing, isolating and frustrating.  It's hard working for a very demanding little human who needs me every hour of every day.  There are no nights off!   But, I admit, I love that he needs me every hour of every day, and I love nursing him and being the one who can provide for him.  It's true that all frustration fades when he looks up at me with his big blue eyes.  The other night, I was nursing him and tears began to flow down my face because he's perfect, and there was a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I've never felt before.  I believe it was that soul wrenching feeling of love a mom has for her child.  That love that will cause her to go insane and to do anything in her power to protect her child.  

I know this is all new, and I'm only six weeks in, and I'm exhausted.  But this is what I was meant to do.  This is the season I'm in.  It's not what I wanted for myself even a year ago, but it's what God wanted.  I believe that with all my heart.  And I am happy, beyond blessed, and very excited about watching our little man grow up.  This week he grew out of Newborn diapers, and he might as well have gone off to college in my eyes!  Ha!  I'm not sure that will ever change...