Fear

My last post was about my journey towards getting rid of some major junk in my life and refocusing on the the aspects of life that should matter. I have been expoloring my beliefs, my values, my relationships, and my time. More than anything though, I have been evaluating my fears. I hate to admit it, but so much of my life is motivated by fear. There I said it...that was scary!!! I am motivted in may ways by fear, and I hate it. I don't want to be this way, I promise! I've been drudging through my fears a lot lately, and I've even discovered more fears I didn't even know I had. When will I ever stop punishing myself?!! Anyway, those fears are serious and need a lot of love, attention, and privacy. However, I did think it would make me feel better to share with you some of the other fears that I have - at least to make light of the subject!

Here are five irrational perfectly normal fears I have:

1: SNAKES - My fear of snakes has always been and will always be at the top of my list! I spot a snake and BINGO! I lose my breath, I sweat, I panic and shake, and I beg Michael to let me ride on his back (this happened twice last summer) because I know that nasty snaky thing will strike me from 50 feet away! I am extremely grossed out by snakes, especially the white and yellow albino snakes at the zoo. I mean seriously!

2. BLOOD CLOTS - About two years ago, I developed a sincere fear of blood clots that resulted in a couple of doctor's visits and my very own lovely pair of support hose for diabetics that I wore quite often. So, I don't really wear the support hose much anymore, but I still sit at a desk a lot. At the first sign of leg pain, I panic that my leg is going to burst open!

3. RUNNING OUT OF GAS - Just today, I borrowed my friend Keri's car to pick up some lunch. Michael dropped me off at work today, so I didn't have my own ride. She was nice to let me borrow her car to pick up Subway, but as I drove away with no cell phone and suddenly realized she was on EMPTY, I seriously considered turning around and eating crackers for lunch. Maybe I'm more afraid of running out of gas with no cell phone, but it creates major anxiety to think about being stuck at a red light with a million cars behind me because I am out of gas! Do you know the kind of looks I would get!

4. DARK WATER - I think it is one of the eeriest feelings in the world to be in water when I can't see what is lurking down below. This isn't a fear I've had my whole life because I grew up on the lake, but I just can't hardly go in water anymore because I picture car sized catfish eating me or worse yet, JAWS! I don't know, it just creeps me out!

5. NO COVERS - I know I'm not the only one who gets creeped out when you are sleeping with no covers. I cannot sleep unless I'm covered up. End of story. We live in Alabama for heaven's sake, and it gets hot! It will be 80 degrees in our bedroom, and I will still have covers on me. It's a fear of feeling exposed I guess or maybe it's a comfort thing. I am just anxious if I'm not covered up!

Okay, so I've exposed some of my sillier fears, now if I could just get around to the others.