It's Never Too Late...5 days, 5 acts, 1 post

We safely arrived from Houston yesterday, and I survived! We had an awesome time, and there's so much I want to share about the trip, including the flight experience, the dedication to Michael's dad, and everything in between. I have some pics and video to share to, but I want to wait on Michael to write about the trip with me, which may take a few days. This trip meant a lot to him, so I think the post deserves his input. I am 5 days behind on my It's Never Too Late posts, so here we go: Friday, March 26 It's Never Too Late to Take a Trip Boy does this mean a lot to me! After suffering from panic attacks since 2008, I took my first flight in over two years on Friday. To say I was nervous is an understatement. Thursday night around midnight, I was shaking and pacing back and forth in panic telling myself and Michael there was no way I could make the trip. With an act of God, I finally fell asleep around 1 a.m. but woke up a nervous wreck again at 6:30 a.m. I prayed hard and forced myself out of bed. I got ready with the tv on to distract myself and kept picturing the sun and warm weather that awaited me in Texas. We had a two hour drive ahead, which gave me some time to calm down and talk to Michael. I couldn't stop sweating though it was 38 degrees outside and I had sandals on. We parked at the airport, the panic rose and my heart was beating out of my chest, but there were no lines at security and the airline staff was the friendliest ever, so my panic began to subside. I was finally there, getting ready to board, and I realized the experience wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined, which is usually the case with us panickers. I was doing this! I was finally moving on with my life! But just to be safe, I took half of a xanax my doctor had prescribed to get me through, and it was all smooth sailing after that! Saturday, March 27 It's Never Too Late to Smile I smiled all day knowing what I had accomplished! I smiled even more during the dedication to Michael's dad Kevin as Sean made a great speech about their father and Michael threw the first pitch of the 2010 Katy National Little League baseball season. Lesson Learned: I should smile more! Sunday, March 28 It's Never Too Late to be Patient All the anxiety I had been feeling for weeks prior to the trip had done a number on me. I had a constant headache and felt tired and nauseous most of the trip. I still had a wonderful time, but it makes me more nervous to be around other people when I don't feel well because I don't want people to know I could panic at a moment's notice(I guess they'll figure it out if they read the blog!), and I definitely don't want my anxiety to ruin anyone's fun. I didn't feel very well on Sunday, and I was sitting in the car with Michael's aunt Eileen who knew I was ill. She told me, in her thick New York Bus Driver accent that it was okay to feel bad every once in a while and if people around me can't deal with me feeling shitty than to hell with them! I thought this was great and funny advice! She made me realize at that moment to be patient with myself and give myself a break. Like she said: It's okay not to feel good all the time. If people don't like it, TOUGH! Monday, March 29 It's Never Too Late to Forgive I was finally home in my own bed thinking about the days before and how I thought the trip went. A lot of worrying, and it was already over! I was about to dose off when a light bulb went off! I'm not going to change who I am, but I can change how I feel about who I am. I am NOT anxiety, but anxiety is a part of me. It's never going away, so it's time to forgive myself for all the beatings and blaming and just let go. I am NOT anxiety. Tuesday, March 30 It's Never Too Late to Listen to Your Heart My very first step in this series was about making plans for a quiet time. I have outlasted my 7 day goal and have been continuing my quiet times because they have significantly made my life more peaceful since this journey began. This personal time with me, my thoughts, and God is the only time I truly have to listen to my heart and seek guidance. I am happier when I have this time. My mind races continuously, and I rarely ever stop to listen to my heart and ask one simple question: "What would make me happy today?" My quiet time gives me perspective and brings me back to the present. If you haven't had a quiet time in a long time, I recommend it. It will change your life. I believe my quiet time on Friday morning at 6:30 a.m. gave me the strength to get on that plane. I am so glad to be back, and again, I thank all of you for being there for me!